Making friends in Firenze - Part 1: The Florentines

Would You Be Friends With This Man?

Ask me what the Florentines are like and I'll tell you that I know as much about them as I do about the Milanese or Sicilians. Sure I've lived here for 10 months, but until I'm fluent in their language and actually get to talk to them at length, I'm never going to get a handle on what the people here are really like. And I am beginning to think that that is what they would like.

Florentines have a reputation for being 'closed' or insular. They apparently like to keep themselves to themselves. This is what I have read and this is what we have been told. By Florentines.

As our stay here comes to an end we can safely count on one hand the number of Florentine friends we have made. In fact we don't even need that one hand. We can actually count on no hands the number of Florentine friends we have made. Impressive huh?

How, you may ask, did we manage to be so popular during our stay in Florence? Well, we just don't know how we did it. Initially it was through putting in some actual effort. We invited people over for tea and for lunch. Dr B made a point of going to various meetings at the school and for dinner with the other mums in an attempt to 'socialise' with the locals. After these tentative steps we then waited to be invited over for a coffee or a glass of wine or something. And we waited. And the invites obviously got lost in the post.

Then we thought: oh well, just give it some time. Dan's Italian may improve a little, there will be kids' parties where he can chat to other parents and they can ask how we're getting on and whether they can help us navigate our way round this city. Or they could offer us a drink one night or maybe invite us out for a pizza.

Then we thought: well maybe when the weather gets better there'll be more opportunities; some nice walks out in the country or some visits to the park or...

Then we thought, maybe they just don't like us.

Then we thought, oh fuck it, it's almost time to go home now.

......

The last kids' party of the school term was on Friday and, after Dr B forced her way into conversation with some of the other parents, she listened to these people speculating on what foreigners must think when they come here because 'Florentines are so closed and unfriendly'. Yes, what must they think? they pondered before all turning to Dr B to get her opinion.

Though they didn't get to hear it, her unspoken answer was we think we're looking forward to going home.

8th July 2010 - An Update
- We got invited round to some Florentines appartment for dinner. That's two invites we have had in 10 months.
- Last week we were just packing to go on a camping trip when a man turned up with a letter in his hand. It turned out he is the cousin of our landlady and our only immediate next door neighbour. He had had to sign for a letter and he was delivering it. In the ten months we have been living here, this is the first time he has made any contact with us. And I expect it will be the last.